I am rapidly approaching the end of my job (two days left!) and to be honest I’m a little bit excited for unemployment. Obviously not the no-paycheck part, but otherwise it might be kind of nice to have a few weeks break. It will seem like a nice little vacation, provided it doesn’t go on too long. In the meantime I have been drowning in an endless sea of cover letters and job applications. The thing I am most excited for once I finally do get a job is that I won’t have to constantly keep updating my resume. Scratch that, the thing I will be most excited for is not writing cover letters. Cover letters are the worst.
Tonight our band (with some special guests) is leading worship at Coastal Church. Practice last night was good but loud with an extra guitar and Mr. Watts on the drums. It was so loud in fact that halfway through I was wondering if I just stopped playing/singing if anyone would notice since I couldn’t hear myself anyway. But then the aforementioned Mr. Watts piped up, “Hey, it’s funny how both guitar amps are pointed directly at you Sarah!” Hilarious. Re-angled amps made things a little better. Anyway, I’m kind of pumped about it. Sometimes its good to be all loud and rock and roll in worship right? I bet Jesus likes mad freakin’ beats as much as the rest of us.
Tomorrow is my b-day. 26!! Egads I’m old. For some reason 26 feels way older than 25. I mean, if you had asked me when I was 16 what I’d be doing when I was 26 I probably would not have said, “I think I’ll have just finished university and be unemployed and single living in a basement in Vancouver”. Also I just realized that I have had my drivers licence for ten years now. I wonder when I start getting my senior citizen discount on insurance?
Don’t worry, I’m still alive. I’ve just been feeling extremely non-share-y (it’s a real term, I just made it up) over the past few weeks. In lieu of spilling the details of all my personal struggles on the internet please accept the following random facts:
• I really like the new Arcade Fire album
• I recently purchased these pumps from Nine West. They look a little bit boring, but trust me they make my feet look hot. And they’re comfy! You know, for heels.
• I want to see this documentary when it comes out:
• I have been writing a lot of music lately. Brokenness makes for good songs. One day if you’re lucky and I’m brave enough I might share them with you.
“God does not always rescue us out of a painful season. You know that he does not always give to us what we so desperately want when we want it. He is after something much more valuable than our happiness. Much more substantive than our health. He is restoring and growing in us an eternal weight of glory. And sometimes…it hurts.”
—from Captivating, John & Stasi Eldridge
From the incomparable Cory Doctorow. Would that we could make all our politicians and media moguls understand the concept of sharing.
“I recently saw Neil Gaiman give a talk at which someone asked him how he felt about piracy of his books. He said, “Hands up in the audience if you discovered your favorite writer for free because someone loaned you a copy, or because someone gave it to you? Now, hands up if you found your favorite writer by walking into a store and plunking down cash.” Overwhelmingly, the audience said that they’d discovered their favorite writers for free, on a loan or as a gift. When it comes to my favorite writers, there’s no boundaries: I’ll buy every book they publish, just to own it (sometimes I buy two or three, to give away to friends who must read those books). I pay to see them live. I buy tshirts with their book covers on them. I’m a customer for life.
Neil went on to say that he was part of the tribe of readers, the tiny minority of people in the world who read for pleasure, buying books because they love them. One thing he knows about everyone who downloads his books on the Internet without permission is that they’re readers, they’re people who love books.
People who study the habits of music buyers have discovered something curious: the biggest pirates are also the biggest spenders. If you pirate music all night long, chances are you’re one of the few people left who also goes to the record store (remember those?) during the day. You probably go to concerts on the weekend, and you probably check music out of the library too. If you’re a member of the red hot music fan tribe, you do lots of everything that has to do with music, from singing in the shower to paying for blackmarket vinyl bootlegs of rare Eastern European covers of your favorite deathmetal band.
If I could loan out my physical books without giving up possession of them, I would. The fact that I can do so with digital files is not a bug, it’s a feature, and a damned fine one. It’s embarrassing to see all these writers and musicians and artists bemoaning the fact that art just got this wicked new feature: the ability to be shared without losing access to it in the first place. It’s like watching restaurant owners crying down their shirts about the new free lunch machine that’s feeding the world’s starving people because it’ll force them to reconsider their business models. Yes, that’s gonna be tricky, but let’s not lose sight of the main attraction: free lunches!
Universal access to human knowledge is in our grasp, for the first time in the history of the world. This is not a bad thing.”
You know how there are some people who just love being scared? People who actually like going to scary movies and enjoy the rush of near death experiences (motorcyclists, mainly). Well I’ve heard there are people like that, anyway. I’m not one of them.
One of Aaron’s friends from Calgary was in town for the weekend and staying at our place. He arrived late Thursday night after I went to bed, and was going to be sleeping on our couch in the living room. Now, any of you who have ever been on a road trip with me know that I have maybe the smallest bladder in the history of time. Invariably I will have to get up to go to the washroom at least once during the night. This is a major problem in my house as our bedrooms are about as far from the bathroom as you could possibly get. Total opposite ends of the suite. Trying to find your way there in the dark from my room is like running an obstacle course blindfolded. On this particular evening, with someone sleeping on the couch I couldn’t even use the flick-the-light-on-and-squint-your-way-across-the-room tactic. So I asked Aaron to warn his friend that I would probably be getting up in the middle of the night and to please make sure to leave a clear path to the bathroom. Aaron did not remember to do this.
Naturally, at about 2:30 in the morning I woke up and had to go. So I slowly, quietly made my way out of my room towards the bathroom. I got about halfway through the living room before I stubbed my toe on the coffee table. The sound of my toe crunching against wood woke Aaron’s friend up and scared the bejeebus out of him. We are talking jumping to his feet, blankets flying everywhere “WHAT! HOLY CRAP! WHERE AM I? WHAT! WHAT’S HAPPENING! HOLY CRAP!” kind of scared. I froze, debating whether or not I could legitimately run for it with my obviously broken and throbbing toe (not). Thankfully, our houseguest realized fairly quickly once he had woken up where he was and that I was not, in fact trying to kill him or anything.
It was the scariest thing that’s happened to me for quite awhile, and once I was finally back in bed it probably took about an hour for my heart rate to go back down to normal. The moral of the story is that I hate being scared and for the rest of the weekend I made sure to cut myself off from any and all liquids at like 9pm. Also, the next time I look for a place to live, I am going to make sure that the bathroom is as close to my bedroom as possible.
Tomorrow it is going to be July! Canada Day! I wish someone would let the weather in on this vital bit of information. Today I made the mistake of not bringing a jacket with me to work because I looked out my window when I was getting dressed and saw sunshine so I just assumed it would be warm out. Wrong! I very nearly froze when I went for a walk on my lunchbreak.
Did you know that Lindt now makes a 70% Cocoa Dark Chocolate bar with sliced almonds in it? Um, yes please. Next you will be telling me that those coconut flavoured M&M’s I keep hearing about come in a dark chocolate variety, and I will know that heaven on earth has arrived.
So since tomorrow is Canada Day and because I worked a bunch of overtime a few weeks ago I’m taking Friday off which means I get a four day weekend, yo! Ariana and Natalie and I are heading up to Whistler for a girls getaway Thursday/Friday, which shall be awesome and probably include hot-tubbing, listening to hip hop and being lazy by a lake or something if the weather cooperates. Perfect. If only I had some Coconut M&M’s…
Last night I sat on the kitchen floor at Chateau Gadd and watched Michelle paint one of her walls. We talked about boys, music/concerts, interior design and God which are pretty much my favourite conversation topics. I love going over there because their house is always so light and peaceful and happy and I usually leave feeling that way. And sometimes there is nothing better than having a heart to heart while you’re sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor.
You know that Dr. Suess book, Oh, the places you’ll Go!? Well there’s a page in there about “The Waiting Place” where everyone is just waiting:
And I feel like that is my whole entire life right now. Waiting for my living situation to get sorted out. Am I moving in August? September? Moving in with Kim? With someone else? By myself? Will I have furniture other than my bed and dresser? Waiting for my job to get sorted out. Will anyone ever call me back? Will I get an interview? Will I have to go back to temping at SFU to pay my rent? Will I ever have health benefits? How many jobs do I have to apply for? I am even waiting for my freaking vacation to get figured out. And my hands are totally tied with all of these things. There’s nothing left for me to do but wait. Waiting for the Lord.
“I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living!
Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!”—Psalm 27: 13-14
In all honesty that verse is equal parts frustrating and uplifting for me right now. If you read the rest of that Psalm David goes back and forth between exalting God and crying out in anguish, so that seems about right. I just hope that I come out on the end of this with a little more patience, and knowing the peace and faithfulness of God a little bit better than I did in the beginning.
Totally unrelated: I have joined LinkedIn. I’m a little bit sceptical about its actual usefulness and am really not excited about having another social networking tool to maintain but it seems like all the professionals are doing it so now that I’m graduated I’d better join ranks. Find me, add me, and tell me why it’s so great or something.
sarahmiller.ca